January 1, 1995
This is from my 1995 diary. My plan for this blog is to write my current diary as I always do, but also include the old diaries that I’m supposed to be editing for my next book. That way, I should be able to post something every day.
What should my New Year’s resolution be? I asked Teresa, and she said maybe I should resolve not to forget my purse except at home. But I don’t forget it consciously, so how can I resolve this? Resolution: be conscious of purse.
I must be conscious in some way because I only leave it in safe places, three times at Teresa’s store, once at my mom and dad’s, and once at Michele’s table when we happened to run into her at a restaurant. In short, I am a prodigy. I could resolve to ignore Mills, but don’t think you should ignore anything, so I can’t do that.
That’s the hard, weird thing about this schooling I’m going through. You have to be so wary and deflect so many things, carefully figuring out what’s wrong with them, and it’s hard to stay receptive and alive.
Therefore I resolve not to deaden up. I resolve to remain conscious. I resolve to be a good girlfriend and pay loads of attention to my Teresa.
And so I’m afraid my resolution is: More of the Same. I also resolve to Buy More Clothes in 1995.
I wandered away from my desk a few minutes ago, and then, hearing footsteps along the outside corridor, thought Teresa was coming home from her bike ride, so I jumped up and sat down in front of my computer, not wanting her to come home and find me sitting on a half-deflated basketball reading “Runner” magazine and eating pickle chips instead of writing.