January 14, 2013

by jkatejohnston

Dear Max,

I have some notes on scraps of paper here.  Might as well just record them as written:

  • Lies in my blog.  Fat.  Reading other people’s blogs.
  • You and Teresa are my favorite mom.  Together you make one good mom.
  • Wearing helmet elbow pads.
  • Booger water.

I can already tell that some of these are pretty unpromising.  But I will write up a few of them.

Booger Water

Enzo likes to bug me, and even thought it’s truly irritating, I like the attention.  So I was in the shower, and he was throwing things over the shower curtain:  a wet cold washcloth, then another, then a pause, and Teresa came into the bathroom.

Teresa:  What are you doing?  Is that a booger?

Me:  (from the shower) What are you up to?

Enzo:  Nothing.

Teresa:  What’s the cup for?

Enzo:  I’m making booger water to put on Mama Kate.

And then he rips aside the shower curtain and tosses a little cold water on me.  We both scream.

I never saw or felt the booger, but I’m sure it was there.

One Good Mom

Lying in bed with Enzo before he falls asleep.

Me:  Did you know that you’re my favorite son?

Enzo:  Yeah.  And you and Teresa are my favorite mom.

Me:  Your favorite moms?

Enzo: (shaking his head) Together you make one good mom.

Lies in My Blog

I think of myself as being immune from certain kinds of affectation.  But ye gods.  Reading over what I’ve written so far I see some flat out lies.

I implied that I go on diets is so that I can be a good mother and sprint faster than my son in a true emergency.  Truth:  it is vanity, vanity, vanity.  Also, fear, fear, fear.

I said that I don’t read blogs because I don’t have time.  Truth:  I’m not that interested in other people.  I have plenty of time to read my own blog.

Assertions are true in the moment they’re written.  That’s all you can hope for.