23 April 2013

by jkatejohnston

Dear Max,

Good God. The deadline for round two of the Pillsbury Bake-Off (Simple Sweets and Starters) is May 9. It occurred to me that I may be disqualified because you can’t be “a food professional such as a chef, food writer, culinary specialist or educator, or someone who creates recipes for pay.” Does being an assistant cook at a dude ranch twenty five years ago count? And what about my food book? If I can prove that my mom bought every single copy surely that wouldn’t count against me. Amazon has marvelous tools for tracking these things, so that when you publish your book you can tell what a splash you’re making. Or in my case, what a discrete plop.

So I made my plans (no I will not be sharing them here, you thieves) and on the way home from work I stopped at Safeway to buy all my Pillsbury ingredients.  And you know what they cost?  Forty-five bucks! I mean a little bag of frozen brussels sprouts—$3.99. A can of refrigerated dough for breadsticks—$4.39. Who are these people who have never heard of flour and yeast and who are apparently terrified when confronted with a fresh vegetable, even though you can cook it exactly the same way:  in the microwave.

Well, you have to spend money to make money. Here goes!