30 March 1995

by jkatejohnston

Dear Max,

I just remembered that I’m still in school. Maybe I should start the novel I’m supposed to have read by Tuesday. Or maybe I’ll bleach my leg hairs.


This morning I lay in bed moaning. I thought I had cramps, but it turned out to be farts. “Pop me!” Teresa obligingly pulled the covers off but instead of dragging me out of bed in her arms, she just tugged on the tampon string that was sticking out between my legs. “Come on, Princess! This is your pop-cord.”[1] 

I got a job, Max. I was shopping at Patty Montana, and I started talking with the woman who was working there, and I asked her if they needed someone, and she said yes. So I wrote down my name and phone number and we talked a little more, and she hired me. I shall also be posing nude for art classes. Teresa says Albino Snatch will now be immortalized in paint as well as print.[2]


[1] Note added 2013:  A few minutes ago I was putting in a tampon and Teresa was waiting to go to the bathroom. “Stick it up your butt!” she said.

[2] If you want to know what Albino Snatch is, you have to get my 1994 Diary on Amazon. There’s a link at the top of my blog. By the way, the nude model thing never happened. I can’t remember why not.