9 June 2013

by jkatejohnston

Dear Max,

Enzo is six. His birthday is June 30. And you know how grownups ask kids when they meet them how old they are. So yesterday at the park I heard him telling a grownup, “I’m basically seven.” I also heard him say to some kids at Lake Tahoe, “Technically, I’m seven.” It reminds me of a few months ago when he went through this little period of saying something not quite right and then adding “approximate!” So we all starting making these preposterous assertions and then adding, “approximate!”


I’ve been thinking of more diet books so I can be rich and infamous. The Behind Enemy Lines Diet (grubs and tree bark, exercise regime: crawling through underbrush), the Carrion Diet (self-explanatory), the Declare Victory And Go Home Diet in which I point out that most problems can be solved simply by lowering your standards. It works for dieting, weeding, cleaning, what have you.