A Few Pieces of Dark Matter

by jkatejohnston

13 July 2013

Dear Max,

A bunch of notes here to catch up on…


I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my hair in big towel.

Enzo: “Dude, you look like a maiden.”


Teresa: “What are we going to get mom for her birthday? She hasn’t even used all the Beano we got her last year.”

Me: “Beano 2.0.”

Teresa: “Beano P.M.”

Enzo: “Beano B.M.” This was a stab in the dark. I think he had some idea that B is for Butt so it must be funny. And goodness it went over big. When Teresa and I were finished laughing we explained how witty he’d been.


Enzo wanted to make a garlic hotdog pizza. “First you make the pizza, then you cut off the crust with a pair of scissors, then you wrap it around the hot dog, and then enjoy. And do you know what the most important part is? Enjoy.”

“What about the garlic?”

“That’s on the pizza.”

These instructions seemed pretty clear, so one night for dinner we made small pizzas to fit around large hotdogs, and they turned out great. Garlic. Hotdog. Pizza. What’s not to like?


Enzo adores plays on words. For example: “What do you call Las Vegas if it’s made of girls?”

“I don’t know, what?”

“Las Va-kiss!”

Or: “I’m gonna have my toast Butt-Turd.”

And you’d be amazed how many uses there are for the work ‘crack.’


I was reading Enzo a book that must have made some preposterous assertion about Argentinosaurus.

Enzo: “Can I say a bad word?”

Me: “Um, what is it?”

Enzo: “It’s ‘duh.’ ”

Me: “Okay, just this once.”

Enzo: “So, Duh! It’s the largest land-living animal in the world. And the heaviest.”


More cooking notes. Enzo: “I wonder what would happen if we put in a few pieces of dark matter…Whoa! That’s chocolate!”