Op Ed

5 July 2014

Hi Max:

I read in the newspaper about those two Supreme Court decisions on religious employers and the Affordable Care Act and contraception. Instead of cluttering my mind by reading the cases, I wrote this:

Alas, alas that ever love was sin!
Alas that all the major religions I can think of have a tiny wee problem with sex, I mean women (sluts)!
Alas that religions ended up as major employers (Wheaton College)!
Alas that employers got all mixed up in health insurance (Hobby Lobby)!
Alas, in fact, afuck!
It is, alas, a cluster!
Alas for Judges Alito, Kennedy, Roberts and Scalia, even if all of the above isn’t really their fault!
Medicare for all! Huzzay!
Plus free contraception, duh!
Huzzay for shaking off the accident of history that brought employers into our crotches in the first place!
Git away from there!
Huzzay for pulling our collective head out of our collective ass!
Huzzay for Justices Ginsberg, Kagen, and especially Sotomayor!
Huzzay, Huzzay that ever love was born!